Sunday, February 2, 2014

Online dating and self esteem issues



I'm still in the process of recovering from my wisdom tooth extraction, still have to take 800 mg motrin three times a day, but i'm able to space out the time I have to do that, by several more hours. I was recently able to use one of my posts and turned into an essay for my English 101 class, I had to tweek it up a bit, to make it match a topic but it was a lot easer then writing from scratch. I have learned s much from my professor, even though this is not a popular blog read by millions it has served as a good archive of thoughts I would otherwise not remember. Pictures are great but words and sentences fill and pick up where an image cannot, due to it be left up to whoever is looking at it to determine what it's story is.

 

 

Speaking of pictures, have you ever paid money just to view pictures of strangers? Men or women? Both? If you missed the headline of the topic, people do it quite frequently for the purpose of online dating. A rather popular phenomenon, according to statisticbrain.com there are 41,250,000 people in the US who have tried online dating, of the 54,250,000 single people in the US. I being apart of that statistic and STILL single! The site also states that men beat women as far as online dating usage. It would appear that being blonde, having common interests, and general good looks are generally your best bet for having success online. Does that mean you should go blonde? Certainly not, there are plenty of people out there that would be more then willing to accept your appearance as is, whether you have blonde, brown, black or green hair!

 

 

I had an account on eHarmony as well as match.com. Both of which I recently cancelled my subscription, before I go into why I will say what some of my experiences were. I literally must’ve paid to view the pictures of close to 3,000 strangers in the two years I was a member of eHarmony. I saw some girls that according to my personal preferences were to die for. Others well….not so much. I don’t believe I practiced the best online etiquette, if I wasn’t interested I would usually ignore the request to communicate and leave it, some were persistent and I would play along for a minute, usually they weren’t brave enough to actually send me a message and talk with me, so they would get stuck in eHaromony’s “guided communication” which was a process where the site gave you questions to ask each other, including likes, dislikes and sample answers. I’d leave them hanging if I didn’t want to talk. You could also read a little bit about what each girl’s passion was, what was important to her, books and places she had been etc. A lot of what I noticed was that girls who had been heartbroken, this was their first resort, and they would broadcast in their profiles about how they had been used and lied to before and were not looking to get hurt again. I did not understand how they thought that online dating was their best bet. Then there were many profiles that didn’t have pictures, this annoyed me because why would I want to talk to someone and I have no idea what you look like, I think anyone would think it were strange even in person, if you were talking to someone with a cloak over their entire body (if not for religious reasons) and you had no idea who was underneath, might be scary to some I would think! Same thing if they had pictures but only pictures of objects or views where you couldn’t see their face…..just a word of advice THIS IS REAL LIFE NOT HOLLYWOOD OR THE MOVIE BEASTLY, I GURENTEE NOOONE IS GOING TO WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU IF YOU DON’T SHOW YOURSELF! I hope that’s clear for peoples J oh and if you are unhappy with your appearance then fix it! Don’t bitch about it to your friends or your mom, they’ll probably make you feel worse anyway or you won’t believe them. Beauty is pain but not dangerous, just remember that. Learn to put make up on, if you think you are overweight (like actually overweight as in according to the BMI-Body Mass Index chart….please google it! Then ok if not then don’t f’ing worry about it!) eat according to the standards set out by a dietician, exercise a bit but don’t kill yourself, it’s not efficient way to loose weight anyway! Get a friend or family member you trust like REALLY trust, to give you tips and tricks on your overall appearance, not someone you think or has made you feel foolish or made fun of you in the past, they will likely do it again and make you feel worse about yourself.

I discontinued online dating because it began to weigh on my self esteem, not saying it might not work for others but for me it did not. I met some people that I would’ve never otherwise talked to, notice I said talk to not met. I never got to meet any, there were two I really wanted to meet and had arranged financially, one was even in a country FAR away from where I’m at, and one I spent all of my savings on. The other I never got my money back, so it was not once but twice that I made a mistake that ended up costing me. One sent me a gift, proof that she physically existed but not that she ever loved me. That one hurt the most, and I still think about it often. But for me, and I reserve the right to my opinion. I wasn’t trusting God that he would send someone to me, by being apart of something where you expect these kinds of things out of people, things that are special and that take time. Though I felt God had sent these people into my life and had meant for me to participate in that for awhile but now I feel the time has come to an end, and when the time is right I will find someone eventually, even if I spend my 20’s as well as my 30’s alone. I look forward to more memories, good luck to those of you who participate in the service I hope you find what you are looking for!

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