Thoughts of mine

I've had some interesting thoughts lately, probably due to a personal retreat on went on last weekend. Currently I am recovering from wisdom teeth extraction. I am doing well, for those that are fearful of the procedure, I would like to assure you there is nothing to be afraid of. I have the biggest dental phobia anyone has ever seen, I had IV sedation, within minutes of the medicine being infused I was out. I did not however appreciate the attitude of my nurse, who seemed to be very pushy and rushing me, I let her know before and after her behavior was inappropriate. Someone once told me that nurses were there to make you feel better, if this is so she failed in her job. Apart from that I felt like it was a very positive experience. I got to see what kind of drunk I would be, since after receiving sedation you are basically legally drunk. I am loud and literally any and every thought came to mind. one conversation went like this:

"How long have you been a nurse?"

She replied,

"A long time."

I replied,

"Really? Where has you sensitivity gone?"

She replied,

"I have sensitivity"

I replied,

"Really? I could tell."

The high of the medication didn't last too much longer after going home.

A thought I had reflected upon the previous weekend pertains to a statement someone mentioned to me after I mentioned that I have a public blog that anyone can see. I was told that must be so brave of me. I thought at first no not really, because for me it is much easier to be revealing to an anonymous audience then to a person's face, that's just me. But upon further review of the statement, I find that I am honest in general. Sure, everyone has details that they leave out in stories, or other events until you feel you can trust someone, but for the most part I am pretty straightforward honest.

My facebook profile it's self, is public, anyone can see my posts and photos. Why? Because it's a public forum and if I wanted to privatize that part of my life so much I may as well not have it, I don't anything on there that I wouldn't want my mother to see, who is of course among my friends on facebook. Above all, I guess I have nothing to hide, originally I left my facebook public for an ex of mine to be able to see that I was doing well, not to show off, but just for her own reassurance, I guess i'm generous in that way, I try not to disappear completely from the face of the Earth, but there are times when I took brakes from social networking, and it was to my benefit. I just stopped one day, and did so for about 5 days straight. I worried one person, one of whom I was surprised noticed, it felt nice to know someone thought about me, but did not help the wounds that this person had given me.

This personal retreat was nice that I went on this past weekend. It gave me time to focus on me, like truly me, which is not something I've been very good at. I am single, but rarely do I ever just think about me, I am ALWAYS worrying about another. There is not a moment that goes by where I am not thinking of someone, somewhere that is not where I am.  This weekend I realized why good people sometimes die young, it's because they are saved by God, and those that remain behind have yet to be saved, or still have a mission to fulfill, this explains why some good people die sooner then others, no just because you are still alive and well does not make you a bad person, it just means you have not served your purpose yet. Suicide should never be an option for this reason, God will never give you anything you cannot handle. If you do not believe in God, consider this, the world sucks, I mean SUCKS! Don't you think that more people wouldn't bother with life if they didn't think there weren't something better AFTER this life? A more perfect world? Or your OWN heaven? There is a scene from American dad that I thought was just beautiful, where Stan, sacrifices his life, dies, opens a door and he is with his family again, his own Heaven. Consider that.....Best wishes and take care!

 Me in my adult sized swing! YAY :)